Our Last Trip Together

My life is changing. I am leaving Bilbao, a place that for the last two years has been somewhere full of love, laughter and smiles. (mostly) One month ago I would never have thought I would be in this position. Love for me is something that is the most important thing in the world. Whether it be for a partner or a friend. Love is life.

A relationship ending although full of happiness is something I’m finding hard to grasp. The love is still there between both yet our basic morals so far apart. What do you do when you love a person but not their way of thinking? Some say it’s just not our moment. Is there ever a moment? How do you know when you’ve done enough?  How can so much laughter until the last second mean now it has to come to an end? Is it the universe that tells you, because something is telling us, but how and why now?

The thing is that when we are young we tend to only think in the moment. Peoples beliefs on certain things may seem insignificant but I am conscious that this one tendency that I completely disagree on would be reflected in many different aspects in the future. As sad as it may be at present sometimes you have to sit yourself down and ask yourself.

“Are you prepared to live that type of life? ”

The strangest thing of all is that my soul, my whole body is screaming NO. Yet my memories play tricks on me. The tears flow abundantly. The heart physically aches. The replay of the laughter, the touch, over and over and over. For every rational thought, I have about ten sentimental. Yet the reality is, that if I fall down and surrender my morals, that laughter will eventually stop, my soul will quieten and I will lose who I am like I did when I was nineteen. I promised never to let that happen again for love and so far I haven’t but now I am being tested in the most challenging way.

What is more important, self respect or love?

This is the last trip, for now that I’ll have with this person. When the trust has not been broken and the loyalty has remained, how can it just end? I will forever be there when and if he needs me. This is a “see you around sometime”, not goodbye. This man will be a friend for life. Perhaps their right, it’s just not our moment.

Siempre te querré.

Phia

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Our Last Trip Together

  1. Désolé Phia 😦 …Please try to imagine a new future and live your present now…Time will do the rest and help to convince you that it was not “your moment”. Bisous.

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  2. Its tough reading this with dry eyes when I just had the same experience recently. Its difficult to end something when truly there is nothing wrong…. It is true, in youth we think in the moment and for me things that will become complications were dismissed as “lets try it out.” Or “I’ll go along with it for while.” When I read the line where the body and mind are screaming No, my heart felt heavy as I have sat in the same moment and wonder how long will I be in this chair of understanding this is not a life I can live fully happy. In ways I am gradually returning to the life that followed my beliefs before the person, I am also better as I adopted some things from that person. It’s just like you said… I have a similar feeling towards the situation and I will always think Je t’aime toujours.

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    1. Don’t worry you’re allowed to cry, trust me I did! It’s been one year exactly when I did this and it was the right decision. I am still friends with him and we talk from time to time and I will always love him. But you have to recognise if he’s a life partner of simply an amazing soul to have as a friend. Always remember who you are first and don’t let anyone let you forget that. You’ve made the hardest decision. You are going to ok. xxx

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