It’s weird, I travel alone, I buy plane tickets but never do I actually look forward to my trips when I’m going by myself. Not unless it’s literally a week in the sun but that’s a holiday, not travelling. To be honest I don’t know why I do it to myself, I don’t know why I put myself through complete turmoil going alone.
But you know what, it’s only the first couple of days and perhaps when i’m ovulating and the day before my period. But now I’ve learnt to try and understand it and know that it will pass and that this feeling deep within my gut that makes me physically sick. It will disappear. It won’t last forever and the things I learn due to being on my own will help me grow. It will help my soul understand and more than anything it will allow me to connect with different people. I am travelling to Lesbos (a greek island right next to Turkey) to speak and see first hand how the refugees are being treated. Why? I don’t know why, but within me something is telling me that it’s something important that I must do in order to truly understand what’s happening. Seeing things with my own eyes and not through the media is essential.
On the plane heading to Athens I moved place so that a woman could be next to her 2 children. Then a woman came over to me (I had an isle seat) and asked if I would swap with her so she could be with her boyfriend (with a middle seat) at first I said no, but then realised she’s in love. She’s going on holiday. I’d want to be next to my boyfriend. So I moved. I was then seated between a priest and an American. Bearing in mind I hate religion, don’t agree with religion and wish it didn’t exist and Americans well normally they annoy the hell out of me. It was just typical! Yet it was one of the most enlightening plane rides. We had the most interesting conversations, I asked all the most controversial things possible to the soon to be priest. We shared chocolate and talked for 4 hours straight. Even though, still I hate religion, I parted ways with a meaningful hug from the priest and a real insight into the Catholic religion and the American, he wasn’t that annoying to be honest. You see, I’m learning every moment I’m gaining knowledge and growing. Yes my anxiety sucks, yes it does put me off travelling at times. But I know there is much greater things to be gained, travelling is and always will be my life. Anxiety will not win. Anxiety does and will pass. It’s an on going process and one day I will overcome it. Don’t let fear stop you. Face it and face it today!